How To Budget When You're Overwhelmed

Have I told you about that time I completely gave up budgeting? Yeah, you read that right. I completely gave up budgeting because I was so overwhelmed with everything going on in my season of life at that time.

In the late part of 2021, all three of my children, and myself, were in therapy once a week. All of my children have anxiety, and the methods that I used to ground them during times of increased anxiety aren’t the same. My middle is also diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, and depression. I was in therapy to help cope with my anxiety at the recommendation of our pediatrician, and little did I know that would also uncover a lot of unresolved traumas from my childhood.

Within that, I was working through my anxiety, depression, ADHD, and cPTSD stemming from being an ACoA (adult child of an alcoholic). Between the four of us, I was in our therapist’s office for four hours a week … for over four years and counting!

Personally, it was a lot to deal with. Not including working through my stuff… just the act of keeping the kids balanced and mindful, knowing their signs for when they were being triggered and overwhelmed, and watching for side effects between myself and my middle as our medication was being managed… it was getting to be too much!

So I started taking a LOT of things off of my plate. And yes, budgeting was one of them. I stopped budgeting entirely.

That doesn’t mean I stopped paying attention to money overall; I still used cash for our variable expenses. And that was about it.

Paying bills was on Hubs.

Setting up the budget was on Hubs.

Moving money to our sinking funds was on Hubs.

I learned in that experience that I need a bare-bones budget routine. Our budget routine that I talked about creating earlier is wonderful, but it’s not ideal for those times when my depression is taking over, or when my anxiety is high.

That’s because during those times, even sticking to a daily routine for my own self–care is hard, let alone sticking to a budget routine that will help me reach my financial goals. But I also did not want to entirely abandon the progress that I had made, as that can be incredibly easy to do when your mental health is spiraling.

Here’s what worked for me. As with everything on this journey, take what you think will work for you, and modify it to suit you. If it doesn’t work, tweak it until you find something that does work for you!

Set up a Bare-Bones Budget

Your bare-bones budget will depend on your current financial goals, but it can also serve as an outline of what you will focus on.

I want to be clear here. It is incredibly easy to get carried away in the comparison game, especially if you’re part of the debt-free community. But the only person you should be comparing yourself to is yourself.

If you’re having a period where your mental health isn’t the best, focus on what you’re doing different this time that you didn’t do last time. For example, if you just don’t have the energy to prepare food for the entire week, and you need to eat out more often, make sure you’re including that in your new bare-bones budget.

Remember, your budget is an estimation. It needs to flow, and change, with what your focus is for that time in your life. If your focus is to get through your rough patch, that is your focus. You are doing the best you can during this period.

Automate What You Can

Some people prefer to automate as much of their finances as possible. There is nothing wrong with that! However, in times when your mental health is not the greatest, I’m going to suggest that you know what expenses you can and cannot compromise on. If savings is a goal of yours, automating any savings contributions that you’re making and reducing your debt payments to a minimum that you’ve previously set.

As our budget has changed over the years, our minimum payment towards our debt that’s currently in payoff mode has always been $500. It’s more than the minimum payment on that debt, and it’s an amount that won’t break the bank during times when my mental health has declined.

This ensures that we’re making strides on our debt-free progress, but also taking into account that other things may have slipped under the radar while setting up our budget. After all, a bare-bones budget doesn’t take into account variations from month to month.

Stick To A Cash Budget

I can always tell that my mental health is declining because I have the tendency to just swipe my debit card without being mindful of what the total is, what category it was from, and how much we have left in that particular category.

When I stick to a cash budget, it takes away all doubt.

While sticking to a cash budget, I would also leave more wiggle room than normal. As you know, when your mental health is not in the best place, you don’t have the energy to meal plan to the best of your ability, making sure that all the items you have on hand are being used up in the best way possible.

To be honest, when I hit that point, I’m looking at the meals that are the least fuss and have minimal effort on my part. That may mean I’m spending more money on pre-shredded mozzarella cheese, rather than buying the blocks that I can shred. It also means that I may be spending more money for preformed beef patties for hamburgers and a smaller back of beef for tacos, than buying the bigger pack of ground beef that I can divvy between burgers and tacos.

Whether I’m making the best choice on purchases for the money I have on hand isn’t something I’m concerned with focusing on when I am overwhelmed. What I am concerned with is sticking to the amount of cash I have on hand, and making things easier for my mental health.

Know Your Limits

Part of knowing your limits is knowing when you are about to hit budget burnout. Start by establishing boundaries around how much time you will spend setting up, reconciling, and reviewing your budget each week. This helps to put a time limit on how much time you spend being bogged down by the numbers.

Focus your finances on your essential expenses, and start cutting costs in your non-essential expenses. This is an excellent place to also start using cash to limit your budget, rather than trying to overhaul your entire budget at once.

Remember that

Give Grace, And Celebrate Your Progress

Throughout it all, budgeting is a process, and we are human. There will be mistakes made, and we will inevitably get off track. The key is to give ourselves grace by making simple adjustments when they are needed to help us stay within our budget.

Even acknowledging and celebrating our wins, no matter how small, will help keep you motivated when you are overwhelmed with your budget.

Seek Out Support

Whether you decide to have an accountability partner or seek out a certified financial counselor, having someone else to talk to about your financial issues can help relieve your stress.